Houston, We Have a Date!

I’m not even sure how the conversation started. I do remember that I was basking around in the tub, and the Beau Hunk was keeping me company, hanging out in the bathroom and chatting me up. Somehow or another, the subject of our impending nuptials came up. This is a subject that has heretofore been taboo, causing massive amounts of stress and tension in both of us. But I guess the scent of peppermint oil coming off the tub must have hit us both just right, because suddenly we were talking about making plans. The broad stokes had already been laid down: nothing big, elaborate, nor expensive, and guests optional.

A few general ideas were bandied about – a hot air balloon ride for two (three if you count the pilot/officiant), a mountain bike ride, the side of Mt. Diablo (site of our engagement), a chartered boat on Lake Tahoe. We even had a brief discussion about cutting to the chase and doing “weddings R us” in Reno or Tahoe, or city hall. Beau Hunk ruled out the Reno/Tahoe WeddingHut idea because so many of them are just fucking cheesy. I nixxed the city hall idea, wanting something a little more special than “Congratulations, pay at window B”. Besides, the idea of getting married at the same place where you pay your water bill and renew the dog’s license was a bit off-putting to me. I may be practical, but I’m not that practical.

GazeboThen Beau Hunk tossed out the idea of someplace on the North Coast. We have had some brief and vague discussions about taking a honeymoon on the northern California coastline, so I had already done research for that area. It wasn’t long before I was in his face with a URL. “How about this place? It has a little gazebo out on a cliff point. What do you think?” He liked. As a matter of fact, it was a place where his parents had gone to vacation on many occasions.

The next thing you know, we were looking at the various rooms, trying to find one we really liked. We agreed on a gorgeous room – king sized feather bed, sitting room, wet bar, fireplace, sun room and double jetted tub, all with an ocean view. Yes, even the tub has an ocean view window.

Tub and ViewThe guest list was discussed next. We want to keep this small, especially since we were looking at travelling three hours from home. My parents were the core group. Extending beyond that, even if keeping only to those with whom we share DNA, the list grows exponentially. You open the floor to friends, you quickly get to 50+ guests, and even at that, someone gets their feelings hurt. We want to keep this small and as inexpensive as possible, without it looking like a cheap occasion. Besides the money issue, there’s a whole minefield of familial bullshit that is best avoided, so the decision was quickly reached to only invite my parents. They’re pretty much the only ones that wouldn’t understand, nor get over, not being invited.

I called the establishment and spoke to their wedding coordinator. “We want to get married in September or October, our dates are flexible, and we can do mid-week. We want to stay in X room, and we will be booking a room for my parents. Can you help us?” Of course!

A few minutes of looking, some discussion as to the needs of my parents (quiet, King bed), and two date ranges were in front of me. We chose October 12th. I’m getting married on October 12th. My anniversary will be on October 12th. I like it. Moreover, I think I can remember it.

We are going up on the 11th, and will be checking out the 13th. The ceremony will be the afternoon of the 12th. We booked a “spa package” (got a great break on the room rate), so we are both scheduled to get one-hour massages. I was obsessively looking over the website and saw something about horseback riding in the vicinity. I mentioned it to Beau Hunk, mostly as a joke. “Look honey! We can go horseback riding, on the beach!!” He blew my socks off by telling me to set it up. Wha?? You want to go horseback riding? Sure! He’s never ridden a horse on the beach before. Man, this just gets better (and sappier).

In thinking about the timing of the weekend, we didn’t really want to have to rush up on the 11th. I know we’re going to both be nervous wrecks on the 12th. So what better way to make the clock move than to schedule activities on our wedding day?? I booked the horseback ride for mid-morning, and the massages for early afternoon. That will give us plenty of time in between to not rush, but will keep us occupied and focused on something besides “We’re getting married in ten hours, thirty six minutes and fourteen seconds… we’re getting married in ten hours, thirty six minutes and thirteen seconds…” If we thought the engagement freaked us out, the wedding will most likely turn us inside out. I’m hoping having something else to do will help.

Since we aren’t having the traditional affair, getting ready should be easy too. We aren’t having a cake, there’s no reception, and we’re having dinner in the dining room with my parents. We haven’t even decided if we want a photographer. I have to do more research – most seem to want a two-hour minimum. We’ll be stretching it if we need one for an hour. Afterall, how many pictures can you take of four people?? I need to make some calls and see if one of the local pros will be willing to waive the two hour minimum for some mid-week work. It’s a Wednesday for fuck’s sake, chances are they won’t have anything better to do.

I am going to have a small, simple bouquet. Beau Hunk is going to wear a suit he already owns (and which makes him look every bit a Beau Hunk). I am not wearing a “wedding dress”, but am getting married in a dress. When I called Mom to ask if she and Dad were free October 11-13 and tell her the news, she said “You’ll have to come up and we’ll go dress shopping at Nordstrom.” I kind of hemmed and hawed – I lost my shopping enthusiasm many years ago, and have yet to find it. Left to my own devices I’d probably pick up something at Ross or some sale rack. She sensed my hesitation and quietly said “Oh, you probably want to go shopping with Ms. Monday or BonBon.”

That’s when I realized I was being a selfish twit. My Mom wants to go shopping for the dress her only daughter will wear at her wedding. Who the fuck am I to take that away from her. Duh! So I said yes, I’ll come up, we’ll go shopping and make a day out of it. I really can be dense and selfish at times. I never thought for a minute that going dress shopping would be important to her – it certainly isn’t to me.

Within a few hours of the start of the conversation in the tub, we had a date picked and a wedding planned. It was that simple. There’s only a few details left – like the photographer, booking the officiant (the hotel recommended someone) and getting my dress. We’re done. Except there’s one more project to tackle, and it’s going to be the biggest and toughest of them all. It’s called “Losing 20 Pounds so I Don’t Look Like a Stuffed Sausage in My Wedding Dress”.

Hm. Maybe I should re-think that City Hall option.

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