Putting the “Duh” in Mudduh’s Day

May 13th, 2007

Last night, after I put Woo to bed, I was taking a few minutes to cruise around my usual internet haunts, which have gone most ignored since final exams are looming. I cruised into a Mother’s Day thread at The Usual Suspects and read someone’s post asking how you plan to celebrate with your mother, etc. That’s when it hit me. Oh fuck.

I totally forgot my mom. I remembered Woo’s mom, I remembered my role as mom, but I completely spaced on my own mom. That is a unique feeling of being fucked. And at 10:30pm on a Saturday night, there’s no way to escape it.

I got up this morning, and by 8:15 was calling florists in my mom’s town. But apparently, most florists are closed on Sundays, even if it’s Mother’s Day Sunday. If you ask me, that’s missing out on a really big opportunity, because I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one in the country that woke up in the doghouse this morning. But marketing opportunity or no, they were closed.

Beau Hunk and I started coming up with other ideas – maybe we could arrange to send them to dinner and pre-pay the restaurant from here. No dice. Gift cards are all over the place, but you can’t buy them over the phone, and if you buy online the only option is to ship it. Damn. It was a nice thought though.

I even called my brother to see if he had any ideas. As soon as I said “I forgot mom”, I could hear him wince. He knows a dumbassed move when he hears it. But he had no suggestions for me. He took my parents fishing yesterday and made dinner for them last night. Well, aren’t you just the good son, eh? He laughed at that and wished me good luck.

Being out of ideas, I was just about to call mom and confess. But I decided to try the next town over to see what I could do. I found a webpage from the local news station that talked about last minute gifts, and had some ads. One of them was a florist in that next town. I called, and miracle or miracles, I got a human. A local human at that, not some call center person sitting in Bumfuck, Egypt. The first thing I asked was “Do you deliver?” Yep. “Do you deliver to [mom's town]?” Yep. “Can you save me??” Oh yeah.

I asked what kind of living plants they had, and the first thing out of her mouth was azalea. Mom loves azaleas! Even better, their prices were a bargain. Even with tax, delivery, and dumbfuck fee, I still came out a good $20 less than FTD’s price before all those fees and taxes. I swear, I hung up the phone and did a little dance. All I can say is that I must be living a good life to have this kind of luck.

I called mom to wish her a happy day and let her know to expect a delivery. What I didn’t do was confess. I decided she didn’t need to know that I forgot her and had to scramble at the last minute to come up with a gift. Some things are just better left unsaid.

She called this afternoon to let me know that my gift had arrived, and that she appreciated it. The plant turned out to be even better than I expected. I was a little worried, since sometimes phone orders seem to be filled with the stuff that no one would buy in person. But in this case, the shop really came through. She sent pics, and it was a beautiful plant – fat and even, covered in double blossoms, and in a lovely copper pot.

So all’s well that ends well. I may have put the “duh” in Muddah’s Day, but at least my mom is none the wiser. In the end, that’s what matters.